It was such a lovely day on Sunday - the first real day of Spring that we've had this year.
Ewan was holed up in the study working to some deadline next week which has got him all stressed and sullen. I decided to leave him to it and asked Sasha and Kyle if they wanted to walk down to the river with me. I used to take them there all the time when they were small which is why I kind of expected them to laugh at me and say no thanks. So I was pleasantly surprised when they were both up for it - they were quite keen, in fact! Mind you, I then had to wait for half an hour while Sasha put on her make up and then dither about what jeans to wear.
But once we set off it was really lovely. The weather was beautiful and both of them were in a good mood and particularly chatty. I'd actually forgotten how funny they both are - especially Sasha, who knows how to tell a good story. We talked about school and their friends and the volume of work they had. It was nice - I really enjoyed their company.
Once we got there we sat on the riverbank for a while and talked some more. I told them that when they were small, I used to take them to the river a lot so they could feed the ducks. And that actually, whenever I walked out with them in the pushchair (which wasn't often because I drove everywhere - as I still do), I was always so proud as people would often stop and comment on them both. Especially Sasha with her lovely dark curls and rosebud mouth - she was an exceptionally beautiful baby and now she's a gorgeous young lady. It's always interesting watching men's reaction to her.
It was so good sitting there with them just talking about nothing in particular but after a while some of their friends came along and they decided to join them for a walk. I didn't mind. It was nice sitting there alone just taking in the sun. I was just enjoying the solitude and thinking about how I couldn't imagine a world without the children or, in fact, without Ewan when suddenly I was aware of this bloke who had come to sit fairly near me. I wasn't overly impressed that he was there and then of course, he started talking to me.
"What a lovely day, eh?"
I smiled but didn't answer. I didn't want to engage with him, or anyone. But he continued
"I came here with my nephew yesterday"
God, why do blokes do this? It was clear I didn't want to engage and yet he went on. Normally, I would have made my excuses and left or maybe I would have replied with boring, polite conversation but I was cross that he had actually invaded my reverie and I wanted him to move. So while he was chuntering on, I interrupted him.
"Look excuse me. I'm really sorry but do you mind not talking to me."
It's quite unlike me to be that brusque and I immediately felt guilty
"I don't mean to be rude, it's just that I want to sit quietly and I'm not in the mood for conversation with a stranger."
"OK fair enough" he said, smiling "Didn't mean to annoy you - just couldn't resist!"
I don't get it. Have I got some flashing neon sign above me? FANCY TRYING IT ON WITH AN OLDER WOMAN?? THIS ONE'S EASY!
Inevitably, I started thinking about Matt then. I haven't heard from him since Thursday. I suppose I need to apologise to him but I don't feel like doing that at the moment. I got irritated then, thinking about him and now this bloke.
And then suddenly Sasha was back at my side, asking if I was OK and did I mind that they had gone off and left me and could she and Kyle go out for a meal with the others and would I be OK going back alone and by the way, who was the buff guy that I was talking to? When I told her that I didn't know but actually he had been chatting me up, she was seriously impressed!
"Really?! He was lush! Wow Mum, you've still got it! Wait til I tell the others. I love that you look so young - none of the other mums do."
Hmmm .... I think that's the nicest thing she's ever said to me !!