Wednesday, 12 August 2009

The Funeral

Yesterday was Sean's funeral.

I went with Ewan. Nancy was there with her husband Will, as they are back together again, but she didn't say much as she's still not very well. She didn't look too good and at one pont she had to leave the service for a bit. I think it has hit her very hard and she was very tearful.
Dave was there with Zoe, his wife, and he brought his three girls along as well as they adored their Uncle Sean and he loved them all too.
And Ed was there. He arrived alone late, only seconds before the coffin entered and as he joined us, he announced that Carolyn gave birth to a baby boy earlier in the morning. It can't have looked good that we were all beaming as Sean was carried in but my smiles soon dissolved into tears as I watched his mother following the coffin, wth Jenny holding her arm - clearly supporting her physically and emotionally.

It was a very moving service. The church was packed and Sean's band led the music.
Jenny spoke of how lucky she was to have known him even for so short a time and that she knew she would never love anyone like that again. She said she didn't feel cheated but blessed and that set me off again.
Ed spoke about his very good friend and relayed a few amusing stories about Sean in that way that only he can, but his voice cracked towards the end as he told the congregation that he and Carolyn had decided the only name for their new baby son was .....Sean.
And as the coffin was caried away, his mum broke down completely and none of us could hold back the tears.

For me, the hardest thing was seeing him lowered into the ground. The finality of that was too much and I'm sure if Ewan hadn't been holding me up, I would have collapsed.

My dear friend has gone and I never told him just how special he was. I hope he knew.

I'll never forget him


  1. He was lucky and blessed to have a friend like you. I'm sure he knew it too. Take care.

  2. I'm sure he knew. And the whole coffin in the ground thing...yeah, that's when you really realize how very final it is. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  3. I'm sure he knew, and thats why it was so important to him to have had that final "goodbye" date with you all, and why he wanted to spare you all seeing him as the end drew closer. You will find yourslef honouring his memory in so many ways over your life forward, he obviously chose his friends wisely!
    And remember, that even tho' you feel terrible at the moment - "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" (Albert Camus - french writer...
    Take good acre of yourself, Selina - hugs from here!

  4. I love Camus and I think there is wisdom in The Sagittarian's quote. Feel the winter, Selina, take the time it takes to live it and don't deny yourself the pain. One day, and then for the rest of your life, you will remember how you felt at the funeral and, from that, why you felt the grief and all the good things you remember about Sean will come to you in a special way, always, like a gift from him.

  5. I had a friend like that. He died, & I didn't know. I was devastated when I found out. I still cannot believe he is gone from this earth. He lives forever in my heart.