The therapist was visibly pleased when I told him what happened with Matt. He said I had shown strength of character by making it clear to him what I wanted face to face and he asked if I was proud of myself. I thought it was a strange question. What’s to be proud of? I ended something I should never have allowed to start in the first place.
I actually feel a bit low, and not because I miss him or anything like that, but the therapist says that’s to be expected and that I mustn’t let that develop or take hold and that I should “keep busy”. He told me to do anything that keeps my mind from dwelling on Matt or anything about him. He says regular thoughts can create hard-wired mental habits that your mind keeps going back to which can then be hard to break. So to avoid that I have to work hard at filling my mind with other things. He said I should avoid being alone but when I am, to read, watch telly/films, listen to music, do puzzles (!) – anything to keep Matt out of my head.
I thought that would be easy as I could just blog but I’m sitting here and I suddenly feel all shy and don’t know what to write !! So, forgive me, I’m being lazy and have decided to do this meme which I was tagged to do ages ago and didn’t get round to it. Apologies to whoever it was but you need to know that you have provided me with a life-saving exercise - thank you.
I’m not tagging anyone but feel free to pick it up and run with it if you fancy it. Here goes:
Where is your cell phone? In the bottom of my bag where I prefer it to be when I’m not at work
Your hair? I have just had it cut actually. It was very long and it’s now shoulder length but I think I like it
Your dream last night? That I was on holiday and it was the last day and we had to go so we wouldn’t miss the plane but I had loads of packing still to do….
Your favorite drink? White grape and peach is rather nice
What room are you in? Bedroom - sitting up in bed all cosy under the duvet with the laptop
Where were you last night? In this same bed. In fact I’ve been here now for twelve full hours – pure luxury
Your hobby? Singing – I need to find a way of taking it up again
Something that you aren't? Young !!
Where did you grow up? London - born and bred
Last thing you did? Woke up and reached out for laptop
What are you wearing? Have just pulled on Ewan’s t-shirt
Your TV? We have one in the bedroom and I’m watching the Wright Stuff because one of my friends is on it today
Friends? Lots and I adore them and some are really special…but I can never let any one of them get too close. One for the therapist I think
Your mood? OK this morning but I don’t have any energy to get out of bed which I recognise is not good
Missing someone? Absolutely not !!
Your favorite color? Blue
One place that I go to over and over? The office
One person who emails me regularly? My boss – three times already this morning!!
Favorite place to eat? My kitchen when my lovely family are together and I’m in the middle of them all !
The world is different now
2 days ago