Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Office Talk

We’re going through a bit of a quiet time at work. We’ve got lots of summer events in late July and August but until then we’ve got some breathing space. It means however that our daily mid-morning progress meeting which should only be a few minutes at the moment, has been getting longer and longer as we seem to talk about everything OTHER than work. For example, this morning’s meeting lasted an hour and we discussed a whole host of random topics and I still have no idea how each one came up.

For instance, the subject of jeans was discussed and how long it was OK to leave them between washes. One person said she washed everything after wearing it once without exception but most other people said they let denim go a few wears before bunging them in the washing machine. However, one young lady said that she had bought a pair in March that she lives in when she’s not at work and they hadn’t had a first wash yet !!! She couldn’t understand why everyone was ughing and yeuching !!!

Then we moved on to how the supermarket checkout is fast becoming a place of huge stress as the whole packing thing is really difficult to do quickly and there was discussion about whether we should finish filling the bags once the total to pay has been announced, and the reward card has been asked for, and if there is a parking ticket to be validated and if we want cashback, etc or whether we should deal with that first and then continue packing after but then of course the next person’s stuff starts to join yours and that actually whatever you do, the people behind will be tutting and rolling their eyes and adding to the stress factor.

It was then noticed that one person (actually the girl who never washes her jeans) was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and there was much cackling as the group cast guesses on why that should be the case and she maintained that it wasn’t a problem as she always kept spare underwear, a tootbrush, toothpaste, perfume and make up in her desk which generated a whole new discussion about what everyone keeps in their drawers and I was really quite shocked…..

Then the agenda moved on to who everyone would like to look like if they could and it seemed unanimous that the girls want to look like Jennifer Aniston and the boys like David Beckham.

The girl with the unwashed jeans then asked if her new boyfriend was right to make a fuss about the fact that she was taking eight pairs of shoes on a four day minibreak…..????

And finally there was some considerable debate on what it is that makes Come Dine With Me such good viewing.

Oh, and I was allowed a paltry two minutes to assign a new job that had come in and check on the progress of one small event we have on the go at the moment. And then everyone went back to their desks which are clearly full of all sorts of illicit booty.

I did try to be a proper manager during that meeting and maintain pursed lips and disapproving looks and not join in with the laughter or inane chatter but …… I may have failed !


  1. Amazing how conversations can meander and deviate from the orginal guidelines! I hate having meetings just for the sake of having them, but I did have a small bottle of Tullamore Dew in my office drawer once (purely for medicinal purposes you understand!!)

  2. Jennifer Aniston? David Beckham? No comment.
    I'll confess to dishing out prizes pulled out of my desk drawers at one staff meeting which included everything from an old Guns'n'Roses tape to a Saharan key finder.

  3. How sad am I, I immediately homed in on the check out thing.

    Am I paranoid or do the check out people target men. I arrive at the check out with 5 or 6 huge life time bags and before I've had time to line up my trolley, ensure that my Nectar Card and cash card are in easy reach; the stuff is hammering down the belt piling up in front of me.

    I'm lucky if I don't leave 10 lbs lighter given the energy I exert trying to keep up with frantic freda or whoever it is has just had a really bad experience with her partner before she clocked on.

    As for jeans; don't ask. It's what separates men and women - a washing machine.

  4. I had a lot to say, but I forgot it. I can't stop thinking about the girl with the unwashed jeans, and the smell of cooch!

  5. That sounds exactly like the kind of meeting I have to suffer at the local authority that employs me. Only more coherent.

  6. haha. sounds like your people probably enjoy working together though. office culture counts for something right?

    3 days max on jeans...less in the summer....

  7. Random topics is what makes working in an office bearable. Hell, I'm a teacher but still sit in an office and STILL have the kind of convos you're referring to....Well, SLIGHTLY more intellectual, then. We are teachers after all...(!)

    Meanwhile Selina, my most classiest of divas....you have been tagged...

    And incidentally thank you very much for your email reply which I WILL endeavour to respond to properly once things calm down a bit...promise!!

    OC x