Saturday, 21 August 2010

A Time To Laugh

Yesterday in the office, I laughed.

I have learnt in life that those worst times of grief, when it feels like happiness will never come again, are so misleading. Although it doesn’t seem possible at the time, the shadows do lift and suddenly, sometimes when you least expect it, you hear the sound of laugher and realise it belongs to you.

That happened to me yesterday.

I guess I have been quiet these last couple of weeks and have kept myself shut away in my office, using work as a distraction. It’s not been so bad at home as the family give me much-needed energy. Especially when my daughter got better grades in her A-levels than we were expecting. We’re all incredibly proud of her.

But yesterday, Pete, one of the young guys at work was relating a terrible dating experience he’d had the night before and suddenly I realised I was giggling and as the story went on, I had pretty much collapsed with the others into a heap of convulsive laughter. It was good for me and I needed that – it was such a release.

Just ten minutes later though, I got a call from the hospital.

They want me to go in as soon as possible to discuss the results of my Colposcopy with the consultant. I asked for more details but the secretary said she wasn’t qualified to give me that information and that it would be best to wait to speak to the doctors.

It’s been a month since I had that test and I stupidly assumed that as I hadn’t heard anything that it was all OK. To be honest, what with Maria’s death and then the funeral, I had pretty much forgotten all about it. That phone call has put a stop to that though as now, I can’t think of anything else. I have to go in on Monday morning. I’m trying to be calm and rational but it’s proving difficult.

I guess the gods weren’t ready for me to start laughing just yet.


  1. There's always time to laugh believe me - it;s one of life's best coping strategies. Good luck with your results on Monday. To be honest, my feeling is, if there was anything terribly wrong they would have called you in weeks ago as a matter of urgency. Keeping my fingers crossed that all is well.

  2. What was the damn dating story! I'm all agog.

    Great news on the A level front - is she going to uni?

    I agree with Steve; but what do I know about Doctors and their sense of urgency.

    Keep smiling.

  3. there is a time for everything...dont blow your weekend worrying, you really dont know what kinda news it was...i would think if it was life threatening or urgent they would have move along a bit faster to begin with......

  4. Oh bum, sorry to read this Selina. I know I would be thinking non-stop about it too, no matter how many displacement activities I tried. Good luck for tomorrow


  5. I hope that it all goes well Monday.

    And laughing really is the best form of medicine.

  6. When a friend dies, a little piece of your heart dies too. The small whole doesn't heal over but you get used to it being there. A bit of laughter helps to heal the raw edges around the whole. Let the laughter happen.
    You wrote about your friend Maria in a lovely way. I'm sorry for your loss.

    Your health is important now too, take care of yourself.

  7. Oh, that's tomorrow then. Hope the appointment goes okay. Secretaries are never allowed to give out results anyway no matter what they are. Do let us know everything is okay x

  8. I pray for you that it all went well yesterday. I hate it when they leave us waiting like that.

  9. Keep laughing. Laughter is such a good thing.