Friday 15 January 2010

I Dare You

In a bid to get myself more organised, I was clearing out my emails this morning and I found this one that was doing the rounds a couple of years ago. You may have seen this before too but when I read it again today, it rendered me helpless with laughter. I bet you can’t get to the end without laughing.

OFFICE DARES
Here are a list of dares that you are invited to take on at your place of work. The one with the most points wins ……

For one point:
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

5. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.

10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

Three Point Dares
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.

7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.

8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

Five Point Dares
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you need to go as you "really have to go do a number two".

5. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight".

6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.

11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Go on, it's a Friday - have fun !!

5 comments:

  1. I think no. 7 on the three point dare might not work so well for me...

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  2. You mean "During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door" isn't standard good meeting practice?

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  3. Oh you sweet thing...my workmate and I were talking about this just before the hols...am now going to copy it off and RELx, YES i'LL DO IT...

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  4. You almost made me wet myself with this.

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  5. having never worked an office, I am shocked to people that people walk anywhere...I thought everyone skipped or walked side ways, or more important...crab walked. le sigh.

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